Here I sit. I’m here. I am here, Lord. I am here and I know You. I know You and I love You. I know You and I know that You are different. I know that You are different from what those who represent You are telling us.
You are not a God who fills us with fear. You are not a God who wants to frighten us. You are not a God who wants to frighten us and cause sorrow. You are not a God who proclaims from the pulpit that we should all be afraid. I know this. How many people know this? Not many.
They are afraid. They are afraid of everything that is being said to them today. They are afraid of the things that are being reported to them today by the media. They are afraid of all the things that are being announced all around them today, day after day, by the people in charge. They are filled with fear.
Surely it cannot be possible. Surely it cannot be possible that You, God, would allow all this. That You allow this to happen, and yet You are different.
You are a loving God. A God for the people.
You didn’t create them in order to let them suffer. Those who tell people that – what do they want from people? Those who have been preaching these things for centuries. You must suffer. You must suffer to earn your place in paradise. What do they want from people?
What kind of God would that be? No thank you, I would say. I would say no thank you, for a God like You. I would say no thank you, for a God like You, who allows people to suffer.
I have come to know You in a different way. I have come to know You as a loving God.
A God who lets me be and do. Who lets me be and do, and supports me. I have come to know You as a God who dwells in my midst. Who is with me. Who is in me. I have come to know You as a God who doesn’t wait for me to come to Him. I have come to know You as a God who doesn’t wait for me to come to Him and beg. I have not known You to be a God who doesn’t comfort me. I have not known You to be a God who torments me. I have not known You to be a God who holds grand speeches and crushes me along the way. Who frightens me.
I am only human. I am human and cannot know everything. I cannot know everything, and that disappoints me. I am disappointed that You, the One I know, is allowing all this to happen. Allowing everything that is happening right now.
People are anxious. People are being tormented. Tormented how? They are being tormented by the media that is spreading fear incessantly. Spreading fear and leaving people anxious to the core. They make people anxious – why? Because they want to. They want to – why? Because they hope to gain something from it? Because they are forced to? I don’t know.
That’s how they are. That’s how they are and that’s what they do. That’s what they do, and the people are desperate. They are desperate because they don’t know what is true anymore. They are only anxious now. They are anxious, and there is nothing more they can do. There is nothing more they can do, which means they are completely paralysed. Paralysed by the fear that is being delivered into their homes day after day.
Delivered to their homes with the daily paper. Delivered to their homes on the television. It has become unbearable. It is robbing people of life.
I cannot understand You, God. God, I cannot understand You anymore, for allowing all this to happen. I don’t know why. I know only that You are allowing it to happen. I am disappointed.
I am disappointed, and I want to tell You that today. I want to tell You these things today and to ask You to tell me why You are allowing all this to happen. Surely humankind will not be decimated by a virus. You can’t let that happen!
I cannot believe that. I can’t believe it because I know You won’t do that. You did not create humankind only to allow them to be ravaged by a virus. A virus like countless others that already inhabit our bodies. They do good. They do good and they can do good. They do good and they can do good because that’s the way You created them – to do good.
Everything is different now. A virus has turned against the people. It has turned against the people and is destroying humankind. I cannot believe that. You are God and You are allowing this to happen?
No! I cannot believe that!
I think. I think that people are meant to be perplexed. That’s what I think. I don’t want to delve into why this is so. It is so because I know that if people fail to gain control of their negative thoughts, they will no longer be capable of having control over themselves. They aren’t anymore. They are enslaved by their intellect. They are enslaved by their intellect and rendered unable to think clearly.
I know this. And I can say this because I also know what creative power lies in one’s thoughts. They create feelings that can unsettle people. One of those feelings is fear.
The fear that people are experiencing today. They are afraid because they cannot go on any longer. They can no longer cope with the deluge of information coming into their lives day after day.
They are at the mercy of it. This information. What is it that the people who are pelting them with this information hope to achieve? They achieve fear. Fear of everything. That’s what it is. It is fear that is paralysing everyone to an ever greater extent.
Why, dear God, do people want that? Why do people want that and why do they do it? I don’t know. You know. You know and You let it happen. You let it happen, and there is nothing You can do about it.
I cannot believe that. Instead, I believe that You let it happen so that You can reveal something to people. What? I don’t know.
You are God. But I cannot believe that You are allowing people to fall into despair in the face of these practices. To feel that they no longer want to live their lives. That they no longer can live their lives. That they are utterly desperate.
What do You want to do with all of humankind’s desperation, dear Lord? I don’t know. They are desperate. I, too, am human. I am not desperate. Why? Because I don’t believe that You will let all that happen. I simply do not believe it. I am certain that You will not let it happen.
If You allow it, dear God, then so be it. Then humanity is doomed.
Then it is doomed – for if God, the omnipotent, allows people to be utterly terrified, to be utterly perplexed, to be utterly frantic and bewildered, not knowing anymore what they should do – then the time has come. Then the world shall come to an end. Then the world shall come to an end, and then humankind shall perish.
I cannot believe that. I cannot believe that people can put other people in danger. I cannot believe that people can endanger and betray other people. I cannot believe that people can vilify others simply because they hold a different opinion. I cannot believe that people are unable to defend themselves when they feel oppressed. When they can’t go on. When they can’t go on and then just have to give up. Give up?
What does that mean? Giving up, dear Lord, to me, means giving up on life. Giving up on wanting to live. I cannot imagine that You, dear God, want that. That You want people to stop loving their lives.
Love is. Love is something You stand for. You stand for unconditional love. What kind of love is this, that allows people to do what they are doing now? You are not that, God. You are a loving being. An unconditionally loving being. You are all that, and yet I fail to recognise that you also make sure that people are like that.
I want to be a loving being. Often I am not. Often I am not, and yet I can be. I know that You are a loving being. I am certain of it. I have witnessed how much You love me often enough.
I am disappointed now. I am disappointed because You do not love everyone. It seems that You only love those who are strong. Those who can come out on top. Who can come out on top and do anything they want. Who do things that a normal person cannot even fathom.
They are evil. They are evil and do things that a person shouldn’t do. They make people anxious. They cause a great deal of suffering. They let people starve. They let them die of thirst. They allow millions of children to die. They do all this, and You let them. What kind of a God are You?
A God such as You. A God who is a loving being.
Surely it cannot be possible. I refuse to accept it. I cannot accept it. I am not the pope. I’m not a patriarch. I am only human. I am human and I cannot accept that You are like that. They tell us that You are letting all this happen in order to punish us. I don’t know what You want to punish us for. What is it? What is it that You want to punish us for, God?
You, a loving being, want to punish us. I don’t understand things anymore. You are not a punitive God. You are a loving God. You are not someone who would say that.
You are here. I’m here. You and many people – billions of people – are here.
I can thus only speak for myself. I speak for myself, and I believe, dear Lord, that You need to show Yourself. You need to show Yourself because otherwise humankind is doomed.
It is doomed because You are not here. It is doomed because You are not here to explain what is happening.
All is not well. All is not well, and it is not well because You are allowing all this to happen. All I can do is ask You. All I can do is ask You to change this.
All I can do is ask You. Many people are asking You. I, too, can only ask You. What’s more, I am someone who isn’t afraid. I am not afraid, and thus I am still able to think clearly. I can think clearly and I can tell You all this.
What can people do who can no longer think clearly? Who are on the verge of losing everything. Who are on the verge of losing everything they have created with their own hands. They have made every effort. They have worked. Worked hard. They did what needed to be done. They did a lot of things they did not want to do.
What about these people, dear God? I cannot believe that You are abandoning them. I cannot believe that. And I don’t want to believe it. I know You in a different way. You have never failed me.
You have never disappointed me. You have never abandoned me, even though I’ve done many things You didn’t want me to do.
I have done these things. I have also done things I did not want to do. You took that as well. Took it and taught me. Taught me to realise that I shouldn’t do things that I don’t want to do anymore.
I want to thank You today. I want to thank You and ask You to do what You want.
God is great. I was taught this from childhood. God is great – I believed that. God is great and omnipotent. That was and is what we have always been told.
I beseech You, my dear Lord, put an end to all this.
It’s enough. Enough suffering has ensued. Enough suffering has ensued, and billions of people are anxious.
You can change that. Don’t change it for my sake. Change it because You are God.
The God I have come to know. Whom I love. Who loves me. Who loves, honours, and cherishes me.
Put an end to all this. Put an end to people not being loved, honoured, and cherished. To people not being valued. To people not being honoured for who they are. To people not being honoured and cherished for what they do.
They are good. They are good and they can be good. Dear God, let them be. Dear God, let them be and do as they wish.
That, dear Lord, is what I wanted to tell You. You know that I wanted to say it. You know why I wanted to say it. You know why it is necessary to say it. You know why I want to say it.
I want to say it because I cannot believe that all of this can happen without You doing something.
That, my dear Lord, is what I want to tell You.
I want to tell many people. I will tell many people. I can tell many people.
You are my witness. I want to tell people because I cannot accept the fact that people don’t know that You are a loving God.
Not to know, and thus to despair. They despair because they no longer believe that You are here.
I can tell people. You are here. You are here but I don’t know what You want to do.
I can only ask You to do something. What that is, dear God, only You know.
If You don’t want to do it, that is Your decision.
You have taught me that I am responsible for my decisions.
Thus all I can tell You is this: If I am responsible for my decisions, then You are also responsible for Your decisions.
That is my final word. You – my dear God – are responsible for Your decisions.
Lovingly Yours, Lothar